How am I feeling?
Umm I don’t really know.
I am stupidly excited about it but also very nervous. I am nervous about the pain: will I be able to push myself through it, will it be too hot, will I get the fueling correct, will I be disappointed ………?
I shall try to explain:
1. I have trained quite hard for it although the Easter holidays got in the way a bit. I have done a total of 107.55 miles during April! (I know REALLY?)
2. For the first time in my memory the weather forecast for the May bank holiday is actually fairly good! (Typical when I would rather it was drizzly and cool!)
3. I have never run that distance so find it quite hard to know what to expect….I know that it will be hard but how will I actually feel?
4. How much fuel should I take on, when ….etc for optimum. I will be able to ‘work’ it out but it is still a bit trial and error.
5. How bad will I feel in the days after it? Will I be able to function at all?
6. I am excited to actually be doing it – something that most people wouldn’t consider.
7. I am worried about the speed of running – I seem to naturally run too fast or too slow i.e anything but the pace to which I see as ideal for me. If I start out too fast then I will burn out, too slow and I shall feel as if I should have gone faster.
8. Will I burn – obviously I shall have to wear sun cream but this ALWAYS gets in my eyes and stings.
9. This last one probably sounds really silly to most but let me explain. I put myself under quite a lot of pressure. When I signed up for this crazy thing (and yes one side of me truly believes this), I said I would be happy to just survive and finish. The other side of me however says you have to do your best: what if you don’t do very well? What will people think then? You will have failed – everyone is expecting a fairly decent time….etc. See I am already setting myself up for failure. My friends (JS) say that I am mad – I should just do it and relax. They are, of course right. What does it matter what time I do it in? Why push myself too far – finishing is good enough in itself (or so it should be). Attempting a marathon at all is admirable. Finishing is just the icing on the cake! (I do believe this, I do believe this, I do believe it repeat x1000000) 🙂