Mad, Possessed Woman

I wonder how many of you have stopped and actually evaluated your life? (expectations on yourself, things you want to do, things you have to do and things that you consider to be crucial to your survival). The title of this blog gives an idea about some of these factors and I did believe that I had thought about it a lot. What I had not done was consider whether I was ‘normal’ in it all. This week an enforced change of routine for me has resulted in some interesting revelations about myself. In short I knew that I was mad but just not to quite the extent that I now see I am.

Like anyone I have responsibilities:

  • a family consisting of youngish children and all the housework and organisation that involves.
  • I have a ‘part time’ job of 21/2 days plus…..
  • I organise family activity sessions once a month
  • blogging and making jewellery for Spoilt Rotten beads

I have the things that I consider important to me for my sanity:

  • running or working out 4-5 times a week
  • knitting and/or crochet
  • making jewellery
  • spending time with my friends
  • blogging

I have things that I want or wish to do very much:

  • writing and submitting patterns
  • opening and running an online shop….

I am sure that there are more……..

source

This week I met ‘new’ people who were not necessarily people that I would normally come across. I was in a situation that meant that I was not always in control of what happened and involved a lot of sitting around, cooped up inside. I knew that this would be the case and a few weeks ago found myself making phone call which was very bizarre (and rather embarrassing);

I will go mad if I am not able to run over two weeks. Is there a shower that I can use so I can go running at lunchtime?

Unsurprisingly the answer was ‘no’ and was not one that had been asked before. (I wonder why!) Whilst sitting around for a couple of hours at a time I was always busy – knitting and on one occasion doing some kumihimo. In the evenings I spent time on the computer, writing posts, reading blogs, catching up with e-mails before knitting. At lunch times I went out for a walk.

On Tuesday I had an unscheduled day ‘off’. What did I do? Spent the morning going for a run and working on preparation for the person having to cover my work time. I then helped out a very good friend. Oh and another friend came and did my nails for me. (very cool polish that changes colour due to how hot or cold I am!). On Thursday I had a slightly later start time than normal so what did I do? Have a cup of coffee? No squeeze in a very quick run.

Source

I suppose that it is not really what I did during these times but what the other people I was with did. When waiting around most sat around chatting, looking at their phones or reading. Many did not go out at all at lunch time. On their day off they either went into work or maybe visited friends…. On the later start they simply had a more relaxed morning.

Source.

The real crunch came when, on being asked to come back on Monday morning I am begging for them to make it slightly later so that I can fit a run in. Now who on earth would think that that is normal? (except for me?)

I suppose what I am saying is that I am beginning to realise that I am possibly trying to fit far too much into my life. I cannot sit and relax at all. This is something that I am aware of but have not really seen it as an issue. So if I am trying to do too much then what can I drop? The real answer is not anything. I do them all because I enjoy them and they are all a crucial part in my life. Maybe the important thing about all this is that I recognise that I have high expectations of myself and should not give myself a hard time should something occasionally fall by the way side. After all, I wonder how many people can say that they knitted their first ever sock this week and have been described in a magazine as part of a;

handpicked selection of up and coming designers

Source – Simply Crochet

along with a photograph of something that I designed and created!

Who cares if I come across as a slightly mad, possessed woman? It is worth it 🙂

Advertisements

34 thoughts on “Mad, Possessed Woman

  1. helen

    Firstly, well done for that glowing description of you from Simple Crochet!
    I also find it difficult to relax, I’m always on the go with two young children, working 4 days, housework etc. I only took up blogging a few months ago but as I want it to be a success you need to put the time and effort in. My friends don’t know how I fit it all in. I finished a pair of socks for myself last night and as I need something else to get knitting I’m just about to measure my toddlers feet so I can use up the left over wool!

    Reply
  2. Patchwork Fairy

    Wow! Well great – you should be pleased you have the energy and inclination to do what you do – it’s not mad at all if it makes you happy so keep doing what you do! The crochet magazine is a fabulous accolade. (Sounds like you had a week of jury service???)

    Reply
  3. Red Hen

    I remember those days when the children were little and feeling like I was losing my sense of who I was. I think struggling to create the time to do the things you like to do is really part of clinging to that sense of identity for yourself, while also being a chance to get away from the endless rounds of nappy changing, dinner making, cleaning and conversation just with little people.

    Reply
  4. youngatfifty

    It is only recently that it hit me hard…what if tomorrow I am gone, what have I achieved, and have I left anything worthwhile behind I asked myself. That’s when I logged into the slumbering blog of mine, signed up for Nablopomo and told myself I will now atleast digitally journal my creations (however small and silly) instead of them lying all over the house !!! I have set myself some challenging but achievable goals too other than crochet and crafting !! I believe one needs to be mad and possessed if one wants to achieve something !! This is positive, healthy madness not negative obsession I suppose !!

    Reply
    1. knitnrun4sanity Post author

      I am so glad that I am mad enough to share my feelings on the blog. The comments that I have had back are brilliant. Reading everyone’s own take on it has been great. I think that some of the issue is that online I engage with like minded people but in ‘real’ life my friends are not like minded in this aspect. I really like the idea of healthy madness. 🙂

      Reply
  5. Gallivanta

    Wow! You are busy. But sounds like it is happy-busy so that’s wonderful. I have slowed, a lot, in recent years, but I am still on the go most of the time. If I do sit down, I fall asleep 😦 Embarrassing really.

    Reply
  6. lovelucie1

    You could have written this about me. I once tried to ease up on the fitness, telling myself it was not necessary to be quite so strict on myself now into my forties. But it didn’t last. I like how it makes me feel. I like how I rarely get ill. I like wearing the clothes I like to wear. I like enjoying my food and I’ve a fear of getting old!!!!

    Reply
  7. salpal1

    I don’t think you are mad or possessed or crazy or anything. it sounds like running is something you love, so you make time for it. As for the knitting and what not when you sit – why not? If it helps you relax and you enjoy it?

    Reply
  8. Gertie

    Having gone from being active to housebound literally overnight I now look on life in a completely different way. I do things that make me happy and if that means spending all day sewing, then so (no pun intended…..) be-it.
    Do what you want to do and don’t feel guilty about it xx

    Reply
  9. EleanorLucy Millinery

    I’m so glad it’s not me – luckily my proper job’s pretty flexible about start / finish times, so I do a couple of 5s and a 10k each week before work, and I would literally go bananas if I didn’t! Juggling so many duties, pleasures and leisures is tricky but I totally agree worth it – as long as you give yourself some time every now and again and don’t feel guilty about ti, I think it’s fine! Good luck! 🙂 x

    Reply

I love to hear your thoughts and views.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s