I ma writing this blog post mainly so I remember how I am feeling…… slightly on edge, stressed, excited, nervous, worried……all of those things and more. I cannot really relax and am wondering what an earth I have done….I know that tomorrow it will all be OK but today??? Not so.
I have done lots of distraction type activities that can also come under getting prepared e.g. painting nails:
(A huge thank you to my wonderful friend nnotsogranny).
I have also painted my toenails in preparation for the day after where open toed shoes will no doubt be the only option! My tag is on my shoe, my label on my bag and some essentials packed. Then I have been on social media and made a little film 🙂
Devices are all being charged fully to ensure that nothing fails on me during the big day. I am, of course also eating and drinking well (chocolate and biscuits count right?) to ensure I have the energy for it all.
I really want this day to be over but to go on forever all at the same time. One thing that I have noticed is that I feel different to how I felt before the other long runs. I am not worried that I cannot do it because I know that I can. I am just dazed by the whole thing. It seems to be everywhere, on the radio, TV, everyone I meet wishes me luck.
The local support from family and friends is amazing. Yesterday I had a big donation to my fundraising page which brought me to tears. The worst thing is, that I don’t know who it is from so I cannot even tell them how much it has meant to me. I am humbled by everyone’s generosity and kindness.
This time tomorrow it will all be over, I cannot decide if I will be excited, relieved or sad.
I have been completely overwhelmed by all your supportive comments regarding my last post. Thank you, as without you all I would never have managed it. Trying not to be sensationalist, without you all, I would never have got to where I am today. The weekend would not have happened.
I would also like to thank everyone that has sponsored me. I am amazed.
But…….here is the bad news………
I am unable to run the marathon on Sunday.
I feel that I am letting everyone down but my wonderful doctor (who was so brilliant when I was suffering from PND) has advised me that it may not be the most sensible thing to do seeing how poorly I have been this past month (+).
I am really, really gutted but deep down know that it is the right thing. My training has not really gone as planned and I am not nearly as fit as I would have liked to be before running a marathon. Simply put, my health has to come first. I have seen enough people collapsed at the side of the road during half marathons to know that you cannot take any run lightly.
Luckily I can defer my place until next year.
Yep, I can do it all again next year, the running in the dark, the long races, the boring posts….. My husband is delighted! (but is obviously very supportive at the same time ;)) The money that I have raised in sponsorship can be forwarded onto next year too. I am going to use this year as a spring-board for next year. I am going to take this opportunity to raise even more money for this brilliant cause that I have chosen. I will learn from things that I felt went wrong for me this year and hopefully reach this point, next year, stronger than ever.
So sorry to let you all down but the journey does not finish here – we are simply half way along the road.