Mad, Possessed Woman

I wonder how many of you have stopped and actually evaluated your life? (expectations on yourself, things you want to do, things you have to do and things that you consider to be crucial to your survival). The title of this blog gives an idea about some of these factors and I did believe that I had thought about it a lot. What I had not done was consider whether I was ‘normal’ in it all. This week an enforced change of routine for me has resulted in some interesting revelations about myself. In short I knew that I was mad but just not to quite the extent that I now see I am.

Like anyone I have responsibilities:

• a family consisting of youngish children and all the housework and organisation that involves.
• I have a ‘part time’ job of 21/2 days plus…..
• I organise family activity sessions once a month
• blogging and making jewellery for Spoilt Rotten beads

I have the things that I consider important to me for my sanity:

• running or working out 4-5 times a week
• knitting and/or crochet
• making jewellery
• spending time with my friends
• blogging

I have things that I want or wish to do very much:

• writing and submitting patterns
• opening and running an online shop….

I am sure that there are more……..

source

This week I met ‘new’ people who were not necessarily people that I would normally come across. I was in a situation that meant that I was not always in control of what happened and involved a lot of sitting around, cooped up inside. I knew that this would be the case and a few weeks ago found myself making phone call which was very bizarre (and rather embarrassing);

I will go mad if I am not able to run over two weeks. Is there a shower that I can use so I can go running at lunchtime?

Unsurprisingly the answer was ‘no’ and was not one that had been asked before. (I wonder why!) Whilst sitting around for a couple of hours at a time I was always busy – knitting and on one occasion doing some kumihimo. In the evenings I spent time on the computer, writing posts, reading blogs, catching up with e-mails before knitting. At lunch times I went out for a walk.

On Tuesday I had an unscheduled day ‘off’. What did I do? Spent the morning going for a run and working on preparation for the person having to cover my work time. I then helped out a very good friend. Oh and another friend came and did my nails for me. (very cool polish that changes colour due to how hot or cold I am!). On Thursday I had a slightly later start time than normal so what did I do? Have a cup of coffee? No squeeze in a very quick run.

Source

I suppose that it is not really what I did during these times but what the other people I was with did. When waiting around most sat around chatting, looking at their phones or reading. Many did not go out at all at lunch time. On their day off they either went into work or maybe visited friends…. On the later start they simply had a more relaxed morning.

Source.

The real crunch came when, on being asked to come back on Monday morning I am begging for them to make it slightly later so that I can fit a run in. Now who on earth would think that that is normal? (except for me?)

I suppose what I am saying is that I am beginning to realise that I am possibly trying to fit far too much into my life. I cannot sit and relax at all. This is something that I am aware of but have not really seen it as an issue. So if I am trying to do too much then what can I drop? The real answer is not anything. I do them all because I enjoy them and they are all a crucial part in my life. Maybe the important thing about all this is that I recognise that I have high expectations of myself and should not give myself a hard time should something occasionally fall by the way side. After all, I wonder how many people can say that they knitted their first ever sock this week and have been described in a magazine as part of a;

handpicked selection of up and coming designers

Source – Simply Crochet

along with a photograph of something that I designed and created!

Who cares if I come across as a slightly mad, possessed woman? It is worth it 🙂